2008 Year In Review -Top 10 Google Searches for The IHoB
As a blogger, I have many obligations. Most pertinent is my duty to inform readers of the weird Google hits that lead inquiring souls to the doorstep of the International House of Blogcakes. And as an American citizen, it is my obligation to comprise everything about the rapidly-ending year into easily consumed Top Ten morsels. I did it last year, and I'm a sucker for tradition. So here's the 2008 version:
10. Beer Nuggets. (Last Year's Rank: #6) Those of us who went to NIU know that they are deep-fried pillows of dough from heaven.* The rest of the world tries to experience them via a search engine. It's just not the same people! Get to Dekalb, IL and taste the drunken delights the way they were meant to be enjoyed: Wasted and with zero regard for your cholesterol levels.
In this never-before-published exclusive, you can see that even Fernando got to experience the majesty - and the chest pains - for himself. Just look at that grease soak through the bag!
9. Cobie Smulders (Last Year's Rank: Let's Say "#10") Last year, How I Met Your Mother star Cobie Smulders ranked #10, but that was for an entry where I misspelled her name as "Colby Smulders." The Google list with the correct spelling is now getting more hits. Ooooo... it's like looking in a mirror thats reflected in another mirror!
8. Batman New Movie (Last Year's Rank:N/A) Yes, I think there was a new Batman movie this year, wasn't there? I'm surprised that we didn't hear more about it... and the eleventeen kajillion dollars it made. It's called The Dark Knight people! The. Dark. Knight. Write it down. Because when they make the next sequel, "Batman New Movie" won't be the unofficial title of The Dark Knight any more.
Anyway, that was written about here.
7. Any Celebrity Nude (Last Year's Rank: 1, 5, 8) What say we just roll naked Rena Sofer, Paul Rudd and Rose McGowan into one ranking this year, you perverts.
Actually, that sounds kind of hot.
6. Blogcakes (Last Year's Rank:3) Over two years and I still have no idea what they are. I imagine they look like beer nuggets though.
5. Redheads (Last Year's Rank: N/A) People just love their redheads, don't they? God knows I do. And that post led horny bastards everywhere here while on their quest for their favorite ginger. Whether it be Julianne Moore, Connie Britton, Amy Adams or even Wendy.
4. "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer" (Last Year's Rank: #2) People still love this classic quote that was cribbed and made famous by Hans Gruber in that holiday classic Die Hard. I even had some douchebag stop by back in August and anonymously tell me that he has no sense of humor or irony. Thanks, dumbass!
3. Harry Caray Glasses (Last Year's Rank: N/A) Sorry googlers, but that's actually me in the thick glasses, an eighth-grader looking like Harry Caray.
I'm not proud.
2. Axl Rose In a Kilt (Last Year's Rank: N/A) Sorry googlers, but that's actually me in a kilt, a drunken buffoon pretending to be Axl Rose. I'm disturbed by how many hits I get from Russia. And that a picture of me is now a popular Google Images result.
I'm also not proud.
1. Saffron (Last Year's Rank: N/A). By far, the most unique visits to The IHoB come from people looking for pictures of Republica lead singer Saffron. I wonder... how many of these people go away thinking I might be her former fiancé?
"Honorable Mention:"
Evangeline Lilly Chugs Piss
I don't know why but even as of tonight, this unfortunate phrase from early November still leads to an interview I did with Grant Miller. I'm still the #3 Google hit for this. Damn you, Miller.
*I'm stealing this phrase from last year's entry because I really nailed it.
10. Beer Nuggets. (Last Year's Rank: #6) Those of us who went to NIU know that they are deep-fried pillows of dough from heaven.* The rest of the world tries to experience them via a search engine. It's just not the same people! Get to Dekalb, IL and taste the drunken delights the way they were meant to be enjoyed: Wasted and with zero regard for your cholesterol levels.In this never-before-published exclusive, you can see that even Fernando got to experience the majesty - and the chest pains - for himself. Just look at that grease soak through the bag!
9. Cobie Smulders (Last Year's Rank: Let's Say "#10") Last year, How I Met Your Mother star Cobie Smulders ranked #10, but that was for an entry where I misspelled her name as "Colby Smulders." The Google list with the correct spelling is now getting more hits. Ooooo... it's like looking in a mirror thats reflected in another mirror!8. Batman New Movie (Last Year's Rank:N/A) Yes, I think there was a new Batman movie this year, wasn't there? I'm surprised that we didn't hear more about it... and the eleventeen kajillion dollars it made. It's called The Dark Knight people! The. Dark. Knight. Write it down. Because when they make the next sequel, "Batman New Movie" won't be the unofficial title of The Dark Knight any more.
Anyway, that was written about here.
7. Any Celebrity Nude (Last Year's Rank: 1, 5, 8) What say we just roll naked Rena Sofer, Paul Rudd and Rose McGowan into one ranking this year, you perverts.
Actually, that sounds kind of hot.
6. Blogcakes (Last Year's Rank:3) Over two years and I still have no idea what they are. I imagine they look like beer nuggets though.
5. Redheads (Last Year's Rank: N/A) People just love their redheads, don't they? God knows I do. And that post led horny bastards everywhere here while on their quest for their favorite ginger. Whether it be Julianne Moore, Connie Britton, Amy Adams or even Wendy.4. "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer" (Last Year's Rank: #2) People still love this classic quote that was cribbed and made famous by Hans Gruber in that holiday classic Die Hard. I even had some douchebag stop by back in August and anonymously tell me that he has no sense of humor or irony. Thanks, dumbass!
3. Harry Caray Glasses (Last Year's Rank: N/A) Sorry googlers, but that's actually me in the thick glasses, an eighth-grader looking like Harry Caray.
I'm not proud.
2. Axl Rose In a Kilt (Last Year's Rank: N/A) Sorry googlers, but that's actually me in a kilt, a drunken buffoon pretending to be Axl Rose. I'm disturbed by how many hits I get from Russia. And that a picture of me is now a popular Google Images result.
I'm also not proud.
1. Saffron (Last Year's Rank: N/A). By far, the most unique visits to The IHoB come from people looking for pictures of Republica lead singer Saffron. I wonder... how many of these people go away thinking I might be her former fiancé?"Honorable Mention:"
Evangeline Lilly Chugs Piss
I don't know why but even as of tonight, this unfortunate phrase from early November still leads to an interview I did with Grant Miller. I'm still the #3 Google hit for this. Damn you, Miller.
*I'm stealing this phrase from last year's entry because I really nailed it.
Labels: Amy Adams, Beer Nuggets, Cobie Smulders, Evangeline Lilly, Google, Grant Miller Media, McGone loves Redheads, The Dark Knight, The IHoB Top Ten Lists, Year in Review
posted by McGone at Monday, December 15, 2008
16 Comments:
What a year it's been indeed. If I weren't so lazy, I'd steal this and do the top 11 reasons, then claim that was totally different when your lawyers contacted me.
Also, I had completely forgotten of Republica's existence until right now. I imagine we've all done far worse.
I searched "guys near Chicago with a pig obsession" to find you.
You were listed eighth.
Can I admit to something without fear of reprisals?
I was the second Anon who pointed out your misspelling of Beowulf.
I will now contribute to next year's IHoB Top 10 search post:
Saffron was eating beer nuggets and chugging piss in the nude while wearing Harry Caray glasses and dying her hair red.
Thank you. I am the first person to write that sentence in the history of ever, and it feels pretty good. De nada.
I think I need to come up with a recipe for blogcakes. You know, for closure.
I am everyone's favorite ginger, aren't I?
I'd just like to take this opportunity to say, God bless you and all your fellow gingerphiles (a word I totally just made up). I wish there were more of you.
Everytimet I see that Amy Adams? ...Damn she's hot.
Awww...too bad you can't put your arms around your memories...
Nice! beer nuggets, Amy Adams and Saffron.
Excellent Post
I'm not sure I want to know how one makes nuggets out of beer.
*shudder*
When you condense it all down like that, it sure does seem like a year for the ages, doesn't it? God bless you, 2008!
I wonder if your anonymous fan of Beowulf (or Beowolf) is the same as my anonymous American Idol lover who thinks I'm a racist, fat whore. Somehow I don't think so, but you never know.
So...anyway, I might as well ask you directly now. DOES Evangeline Lilly chug piss?
HAHAHA! McGone! You have made the intimidating Grant Miller look much more approachable.Good work.
I just want to say that the Harry Caray glasses thing made me LOL!!
I bought these super chic Dior sunglasses in Paris last year that My Guy said made me look like Harry Caray! HA! Imagine, Harry Caray being the height of optical fashion!!
McGone, you're married right?
Will you do the Married Guy perspective for our blog series?
Comment on mine, let me know
: )
Too late!!! Mjenks has done it, and he was awesome (TWSS).
Better luck next time I tag ya!
; )
beautyful!
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